Valentine’s Day Gift Guide
What Your Girlfriend Wants 50 Shades of Black: the more hardcore sequel to 50 Shades of Gray. “Have you running more recently? You look thin.” For you to admit that she’s right in an argument where you both know she’s…
Category Valentine’s Day 2013
Love Is…
Love is a Battlefield episode, specifically “Scandinavia: The Forgotten Front,” that you watched in precept with her. Love is not having to say “you’re sorry” because she kept the pencil you lent her. Love is imagining her as the subject of…
Real Pickup Lines
Want to cleave her loins, but worry she’s on the lookout for canned phrases that might give away your singleminded pursuit of her Virtue? Read ahead! Because right now, for a limited time only: Realistic Pick Up Lines! The result…
Love and lust in the bubble: My Desdemona
As Frost once wrote, “at last came a knock.” You appeared at my door, hair golden in the phosphorescent glow of the lights that lined our hall. You looked at me, and it seemed to last forever. Your hand clasped…
How To Be Sex Positive
Throwing an event? Put out a condom bowl, or put condoms in gift bags! Put condoms in the food and drinks. Place a hex on your guests so condoms spill out of their mouths. Open a dialogue with teens about…