Assorted Poetry
11/14: A Haiku November fourteenth If today is your birthday Your mom got flowers Traffic Lights Suck Violets are red Roses are blue Oh shit I’m colorblind Now what do I do? Dear Bridget Your eyes bright blue as the…
Category Valentine’s Day 2013
Direct Intercourse With Dick Inman
Dear Dick, My boyfriend is great. We’ve been seeing each other for 2 years now. He’s sweet, thoughtful, and funny, not to mention being fairly “well equipped” downstairs. He takes me out on dates, buys me shoes, and is pretty…
A Letter to the Rando Who Just Friend Requested Me
Dear Stephanie King, Thank you for your friend request! You seem like a very nice girl. But, maybe that’s just my eternal optimism. Some might say you seem rather sketchy, friending me despite our having no mutual friends and no…
Condoms
Sometimes it's hard to tell what they're for.
Shakespeare Love Quotes, Translated
Quote: “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” Translation: Spontaneous “I love you” texts really go a long way. Quote: “You have witchcraft in your lips.” Translation: Your lipgloss be poppin’. Quote: “Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”…