Category Princeton

Articles related to life at Princeton, the Ivy League, and other college matters.

Colonial’s Defense Letter

Dear Tiger, I can only assume that you are going to mock Colonial’s recent “moloid reclam ation” and must preemptively express my distaste for your methods. This flagrant attempt by the mole people to steal Colonial from its rightful owners…

Harry Potter’s Acceptance Letter

Wotcher! We are pleased to offer you admission to Princeton University’s class of 2011. As we detail a few of the most significant University policies, we ask that you please refrain from allowing any of these formalities from diminishing your…

Adam and Eve to be Awarded Honorary Degrees

The Trustee Committee on Honorary Degrees has recently announced that it intends to honor this remarkable pair in what one spokesman described as “long overdue recognition.” The degrees, which are normally given out as part of commencement ceremonies, will instead…

The Story of Snow White `09

…Continued from Tiger’s November 2006 issue After the failure of her plan to dispose of Snow White `09 with an enchanted halogen lamp, Snow White `09’s evil step-roommate slipped into a brooding depression. Like every evil queen who lands in…