Category Princeton

Articles related to life at Princeton, the Ivy League, and other college matters.

J. Crew Pleased With Diversity Efforts

According to sources in the company, J. Crew’s management is positively tickled pink by the success of Princeton’s diversity efforts. Relaxing in back of the Ivy Club during lawnparties on September 23, Senior Brand Enhancer Wexford A. S. Peabody enthused,…

Jolie Adopts Princetonian

The past year has seen a lot of activity by the actress, whore, and Special Ambassador for the UN High Commissioner on Refugees, Angelina Jolie. In mid-March Jolie adopted yet another international child to add to her family of third-world…

Tightrope Walkers Become More Macho

Walking on a tightrope may have looked fun to people who saw it on the cover of The Prince earlier this month. But it wasn’t challenging enough for some more daring ropists. “Come on, that thing was four feet off…

Academic Doping Scandal

by the Fifth Quintile Allstar Princeton has long prided itself on its Honor Code and academic integrity, but the Discipline Committee recently announced that they have uncovered a new epidemic sweeping across our institution- Academic Doping. Though there is no…

A Modest Proposal

Perhaps my diction may be too pretentious, but I chose it hoping to add a humorous element to my piece. I wish to bear witness to a modern American tragedy: late meal. The so-called “Frist Campus Center” provides an innocent…