A Benedict XVI Presidency?
On Monday, His Holiness Benedict XVI announced his resignation from the papacy, shocking the world and igniting speculation that he may be in the running to replace outgoing Princeton University President Shirley Tilghman.
Category News
PRESS RELEASE: Hardee’s Introduces New Fuckburger
THE SOUTH — In keeping with the Hardee’s tradition of providing all-American, grass-fed meat to all-American, grass-fed men (but not vegetarians, because what are we, fucking Jamba Juice? Queer.), Hardee’s is introducing a few new menu items this year. In particular, we real men at Hardee’s are proud to present the all-new Hardee’s Fuckburger™.
Man Sues Ancient Mayans, Claims Fraud
John S. Worthen, 43, has filed a suit in Rhode Island state court against “the ancient Mayans and affiliate gods” whose incorrect prediction of the end of days he views as “a fraudulent promise” worthy of restitution. John, who had been hiding in a Mexican cenote since November, emerged on December 22 to find the world wholly undisturbed by apocalyptic phenomena.
Lance Armstrong Admits To Doping Oprah Interview
Lance Armstrong admitted today to doping and using steroids, blood boosters, and illegal blood transfusions in an interview with Oprah Winfrey. As a result, he has been stripped of his interview count and banned from all future Oprah shows.
Princeton Approves Orgy on Cannon Green
Less than a week after Harvard officially recognized Harvard College Munch, a student group devoted to kinky sex, the Ivy League’s kinky sex arms race escalated. Yesterday, Princeton University issued a press release encouraging the freshman class to participate in a class-wide orgy on Cannon Green.