Category News

Quad Invents Eighth Day, Hundreds Disappear

Charter had Fridays. Cottage had Sundays. And even Tower had something. But one club stood among the rest without a day to its name. Quad. The humiliation was staggering. That’s when Quadrangle Club engineers came up with a novel solution. They would invent a new day. An eighth day. “Quad Day.”

The Heir of Whitman Returns

Shortly after the most recent case of meningitis was reported on campus, University Spokesperson Martin Mbugua confirmed that the mysterious “Heir of Whitman” had left another message promising further meningococcal illness.