Category News

The Bermuda Bubble Diaries

Several days ago, the Coast Guard apprehended Reza Baluchi after he attempted to travel 1000 miles from Florida to Bermuda in a bubble-like contraption that he constructed himself and calls the “Hydro Pod”. Through inside connections, we have obtained his journal entries detailing his epic quest. It is truly the Odyssey of our time.

Total Loser Calls Home Regularly

After just two weeks of college, sources confirm that total pansy Ryan Colter ’18 has already called his family twice to keep in touch and assure them that he is adapting reasonably well to college life.