A Tragic Rejection
HEY GIRL YOU REMIND ME OF MY GRANDPA I MEAN YOU’RE NICE YOU’RE NOT OLD ALSO I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE A PENIS FUCK CAN WE START OVER? HEY GIRL GOING TO THE FRESHMAN FORMAL? I HEAR IT’S PRETTY FANCY COLONIAL HAS SOME…
Category Life
Stories about life today from staff of the Tiger.
Guilty Pleasures of an Adult Heterosexual Male
Peeing in the kiddie size urinal Let’s be real, we all do it when nobody’s looking… Scented Candles They make my room smell fruity and delicious. Garnier Fructis It makes my hair smell fruity and delicious. Adele Rolling in the…
An Ode to Arbor Day
In honor of Arbor Day (the last Friday in April for those of you who live under a rock), I recently googled “why trees are awesome.” I didn’t find anything explicitly explaining why trees are awesome, so I decided…
TZ Horton’s Terminological Repertoire
Fecund – adj. rich or fertile. Sometimes used in relation to intellectual facilities. Suggested usage: “Are you out of your FECUND mind?!” Pulveratricious – adj. dust-colored; dusty. An excellent idea for punning off this obscure word: “I had to fight…
New Education Bill Bans Anything Bad from Happening to Children
Saying it is in “the best interests of the future leaders and innovators of this country”, the House of Representatives today passed the Child Misery Abolition Act, a law which makes illegal any action that wrenches minors out of a…