First Date Tips
Mark your forehead with a large “X” so your date can tell you from your evil twin Offer her your business card several times throughout your meal As soon as your date asks you for any details about your personal…
Category How-To
Recipe: Make Your Own Boyfriend
Can’t find the right guy? Tired of being alone? Take matters into your own hands and whip up a man that’ll never leave you with this easy recipe. Ingredients 1 corpse (a recently deceased male is best, but any corpse…
How to Get the “Unattainable Standard of Beauty” Look
Unattainable just became attainable! With the help of this handy tutorial, you can finally get the look so hard to achieve that some have gone as far as to call it impossible. First, make sure that your hair is dyed…
Vacation Suggestions for Time Travelers On a Budget
History is filled with many beautiful and desirable destinations. Yet unfortunately, not everyone has the resources for a trip to Ancient Greece or elaborate futuristic resorts. We can’t all meet William Shakespeare or Millard Fillmore, no matter how much…
Illuminati Application Tips
So you’ve graduated from an elite university, been part of a few secret societies, burnt a few rival mascots in effigy, and you’re wondering: what’s next? Well, you just might be qualified to join the most secret society of all—the…