ABC announced today that it will be airing a new reality television show in March, entitled “Whatever Happened to Brandy?”. The show consists of a group of 20-somethings who share an apartment/hot tub in Manhattan. Each week the group attempts…
CERN, FRANCE – An international team of researchers today announced the first-ever isolation of a sample of antipope, a rare substance predicted by current Pope Theory. Antipopes, which can be thought of as the ‘negative’ counterparts of ‘normal’ popes, may…
Colonial Hoses 90% of First Round Sign-Ins “We’re really sorry, man. It was a really strong year, and I spoke hard for you, but it just wasn’t to be.” Alfred Blair ’12 (name changed to protect his remaining scraps of…
Late last night, archaeologists working overtime in the recently discovered fifth basement of Firestone Library uncovered the preserved remains of several Princeton students who they believe to date back hundreds of years. Their report, released today, details the specifics of…