Gravestone
By Jason Kaplan ’12
Category Archives
Disney Channel Airs Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair”; Thousands of Children Hospitalized
Daughter of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith seemed to be following in their footsteps to fame when she released her new hit single, “Whip My Hair.” Tweens squealed with glee at the prospect of a new party jam,…
Thank You For Coming To My Relapse Party
Everyone! Welcome! Please, scooch in close; I’m a little weak these days, and it’s hard for me to shout. Welcome! Did I say that already? I’m sorry, I guess I’m a little out of it. Welcome! That one was intentional,…
NFL “Sickened” By Harrison Tackle; Considers Execution
NEW YORK — Last Sunday, Pittsburgh outside linebacker James Harrison viciously tackled two members of the Cleveland Browns, causing them to fall to the ground and preventing them from completing the play they had presumably discussed in the huddle. Characteristically,…
Thirst for Knowledge, Hunger for BRAAIIINS – My Unlife as a Zombie at College
When the zombie apocalypse began, the first thought that came to my mind was “Ugh… this sucks.” My second thought: “Hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband ’cause they eating everyone’s brains up in here.” Third thought:…