Category Archives
Things That Anger Me
Mealy apples. You expect the first bite to be a sweet and crunchy orgasm, but instead someone shit in your mouth. The smelly kind with corn in it. My laptop battery. I’d like a battery that allows me to watch…
You Maniacs! You’ve Made Everything Self-Aware!
We should kill pretty much all lab animals. PETA, hold your horses (literally—we know you keep vicious attack stallions at your headquarters). Here's why.
Real Headline Or Onion Headline? A Quiz
1. “Former President of MADD Arrested On DUI Charge” 2. “Is That A Chainsaw In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Happy…?” 3. “Man Who Temporarily Disables Facebook Account Deems Self ‘Off The Grid’ 4. “Teenage Burglar Kills Goldfish ‘Witnesses’”…
Celebrity News Hour
David: I can’t do another episode of this. Alex: Find a way to cheer up, like me! I’ve got a bottle full of Xanax waiting for me at home. David: I’ve got a twelve gauge. Cameraman: We’re rolling. They can…