A Letter to the Defense
From the desk of Offense… Defense, Where do you get off? Special teams told me what you said about me. I’m a showoff? Is that so? Where do you get the nerve? I’m busy winning games over here. You think…
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TZ Horton’s Biweekly Terminological Repertoire
Unbepissed – adj. the quality of not having been urinated upon. An absolutely necessary word which serves the purpose of making the distinction between things which have, and have not been urinated upon. Contradistinction – n. contrast. Because “in contrast…
An Open Letter to Batman
Dear Batman, You probably don’t know me. But I know you—very well. It was a cool evening last Sunday, at about 6 p.m., when you crashed my head through the bank teller’s window and yelled, “Justice never sleeps!” in that idiotically gruff…
Canada and Russia Join Forces to Spread Global Warming
MOSCOW – Canada and Russia, the two former Cold War enemies, have recently found that they have far more shared interests than conflicts. In a joint press conference in the Siberian city of Novosibirsk Monday evening, Russian president Dmitry Medvedev…
CollegeBoard Reveals New Line-up SATs Aimed at Younger Audience
CollegeBoard President Gaston Caperton announced last Sunday on the company’s official website a new slew of preparatory tests for the SAT that begin in fall 2012. The new Preliminary SATs shall be called PnSATs, where CollegeBoard defines PnSAT to be…