Leading experts in college analysis have determined that Princeton is objectively better than Harvard. According to a committee of feuding alumni at US News Magazine, Princeton has achieved a US News & World Report rating of 100 beating out Harvard’s mere 99.
When asked for general thoughts on the book his professor wrote, a student posed a question so intellectual, thought-provoking and unquestionably correct that his professor, Bernard Kensington, was unable to muster a response.
Woodrow Wilson’s little-known fifteenth point was “there should be precepts,” and today he is remembered more for his dedication to the idea of student discussions than for his fervent anti-Semitism. Some find precepts a great forum for exchanging ideas, others find them an efficient means of identifying the biggest tools on campus, but whatever your opinion, you’re going to have to go to precept. Sometimes.
THE SOUTH — In keeping with the Hardee’s tradition of providing all-American, grass-fed meat to all-American, grass-fed men (but not vegetarians, because what are we, fucking Jamba Juice? Queer.), Hardee’s is introducing a few new menu items this year. In particular, we real men at Hardee’s are proud to present the all-new Hardee’s Fuckburger™.
Political analyst Nate Silver, known for his highly accurate predictions in the recent presidential election, has weighed in on this week’s USG election, declaring that the candidate who wins Butler will win the presidency.
