Pick-Up Lines for Culturally-Literate Lovers
Looking to score on the Street but not sure how to make the first move? Try one of the sizzlin’ lines below, guaranteed to get you a boo — as long as you use them within the next two to…
Nate Perlmeter
Excited Princeton Freshman Attends Football Game, Is Sole Attendant
This past Sunday, freshman Pete Potterman made his way to Powers Field to join what he thought would be an orange sea of comrades in witnessing the Supreme and Glorious Princeton Tigers easily crush their local nemesis, Rutgers. Great was…
Disappointing: Eisgruber Will not Construct Large Statue of Woodrow Wilson’s Penis
After years of backlash from the Princeton student body concerning the Woodrow Wilson School and other structures named after the notoriously racist president, president Christopher Eisgruber has finally met with the community and promised to not carry through with the…
TigerMag Claims Responsibility for TigerRank, Notre Dame
On Tuesday April 30, 2019, 5 days after the website’s major day of operation, Princeton humor organization The Princeton Tiger, publisher of the quarterly satire magazine of the same name, officially takes responsibility for tigerrank.herokuapp.com, the now-defunct URL that once…
President Eisgruber Apologizes for Leaving Notre Dame Voodoo Doll in Fine Hall
An embarrassed President Eisgruber apologized in a press conference Monday for indirectly causing the Notre Dame fire by leaving a Notre Dame voodoo doll on the 12th floor of Fine Hall. “This one’s on me, guys,” said Eisgruber, sighing and…