The Princeton Admissions Officer Drinking Game
As Princeton officials filtered through these files, faced with life-altering decisions—the future of so many kids at the mercy of their best judgment—they played a drinking game.
Former Writers Who Wish To Remain Anonymous
Arts & Transit & DRUGS Neighborhood??
The University claims that construction on the southwest side of campus is for a new “Arts & Transit Neighborhood,” to be completed by 2017. But by every indication of the current construction project, the neighborhood will also be used for…
Student Compares Freshman Math Exam to Act of Profound Human Slaughter
Barry Saunders, a prospective Woody Woo concentrator, who has been taking the introductory mathematics class P/D/F since the first week, vehemently expressed his disapproval for the challenging material presented on this week’s assessment, alleging that sitting through the two hour examination inspired the emotions associated with being a victim of mass murder.
Sorry, We Cannot Offer You a Bid
It’s with sincere regret that I must inform you that we cannot offer you membership into 19 Club, Princeton’s premier all-male, secret tobacco smoking society. I guess you could say it wasn’t your “lucky strike,” “bud.”
WAKE UP SHEEPLE
For too long the DAILY PRINCETONIAN has LIED to HARD-WORKING AMERICANS of this University, taking orders directly from the corporate clowns of HARVARD UNIVERSITY and promoting a CRIMSON AGENDA.