Condoms
Sometimes it's hard to tell what they're for.
Former Writers Who Wish To Remain Anonymous
Shakespeare Love Quotes, Translated
Quote: “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” Translation: Spontaneous “I love you” texts really go a long way. Quote: “You have witchcraft in your lips.” Translation: Your lipgloss be poppin’. Quote: “Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”…
Valentine’s Day Gift Guide
What Your Girlfriend Wants 50 Shades of Black: the more hardcore sequel to 50 Shades of Gray. “Have you running more recently? You look thin.” For you to admit that she’s right in an argument where you both know she’s…
Love Is…
Love is a Battlefield episode, specifically “Scandinavia: The Forgotten Front,” that you watched in precept with her. Love is not having to say “you’re sorry” because she kept the pencil you lent her. Love is imagining her as the subject of…
Real Pickup Lines
Want to cleave her loins, but worry she’s on the lookout for canned phrases that might give away your singleminded pursuit of her Virtue? Read ahead! Because right now, for a limited time only: Realistic Pick Up Lines! The result…