Timeline of Forgetting Her Name
1 minute Wait, she just said it a minute ago. It started with an… S? No, that’s Shakira. I’m thinking of Shakira. 10 minutes Uh oh, we’ve been talking too long for me to ask her name. But it’s surprising…
Former Writers Who Wish To Remain Anonymous
Rejected Candy Hearts
They're just chalk anyway.
A Letter To My 18-Year-Old Self
Dear 18-Year-Old Self, You bubble with independence and are surrounded by a campus of like-minded individuals in a sea of Milwaukee’s Best. College has made you a solemn promise since day one of freshman year, that every Thirsty Thursday, Fucked-up…
Assorted Poetry
11/14: A Haiku November fourteenth If today is your birthday Your mom got flowers Traffic Lights Suck Violets are red Roses are blue Oh shit I’m colorblind Now what do I do? Dear Bridget Your eyes bright blue as the…
Direct Intercourse With Dick Inman
Dear Dick, My boyfriend is great. We’ve been seeing each other for 2 years now. He’s sweet, thoughtful, and funny, not to mention being fairly “well equipped” downstairs. He takes me out on dates, buys me shoes, and is pretty…