Ways My Beard Makes Me Seem Thoughtful and Worldly
People don't question me when I tell them that I'm married to the sea.
Dan Abromowitz
PrincetonFML: Class of 1879
“Last Saturday, I was more charming than I've ever been and hit on this really cute freshman like a pro. It was only when we got back to her room that I remembered that there are no girls at Princeton. FML”
Brainstorming The Upcoming Sherlock Holmes Movie
We were thinking that afterward Holmes could have a bad case of the munchies and see Watson as a big steak, you know, with a bowler hat.
Probable Conversations Between High Ranking Government Officials On Contemporary Issues Of Importance
Man, everything is just awesome when you are the government.
One Hundred Lies About Barack Obama
#55: While a state legislator, Barack Obama spearheaded a short-lived effort to make the Illinois state bird The Eagles.
#56: In his desk in the oval office, Barack Obama keeps a revolver with a single bullet, just in case.