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Superheroes: Where Are They Now?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: After a silent coup, they are overtaken by the Middle-Aged Naturally Selected Pirate Tortoises in an epic battle. Spiderman: Underwent skin re-pigmentation surgery after an identity crisis, lost Mary Jane in a marijuana drug deal gone…

Spider-man 4 Script Leaked

Scene 1 Setting: Tobey Maguire’s apartment. Our intrepid hero, Spider-Man director Sam Raimi, meets with Tobey Maguire to convince him to reprise the role of Spider-Man.  Unfortunately, Maguire has come under the delusion that he is a real actor. Sam…

Princeton Course Offerings 3009

Princeton University Course Offerings, Spring Term 3009 [recovered by Tiger Magazine’s intrepid, brave time-traveling reporter. Translated into English for popular consumption] AAS100: Introduction to African-American Studies Description: The toils and troubles of African Americans from slavery to 2500, when the…

Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Solved

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a searing clash that has ripped the Middle East apart, cost countless lives and commanded the attention of the entire world… has been all sorted out. Six months ago, a poorly educated but eternally wise shepherd named…