Dear President Tilghman, I was recently speaking with a prospective student about the process of applying to college, and I wanted to share with you a concern that came up during our discussion. After a number of questions about academics…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: After a silent coup, they are overtaken by the Middle-Aged Naturally Selected Pirate Tortoises in an epic battle. Spiderman: Underwent skin re-pigmentation surgery after an identity crisis, lost Mary Jane in a marijuana drug deal gone…
Scene 1 Setting: Tobey Maguire’s apartment. Our intrepid hero, Spider-Man director Sam Raimi, meets with Tobey Maguire to convince him to reprise the role of Spider-Man. Unfortunately, Maguire has come under the delusion that he is a real actor. Sam…
Princeton University Course Offerings, Spring Term 3009 [recovered by Tiger Magazine’s intrepid, brave time-traveling reporter. Translated into English for popular consumption] AAS100: Introduction to African-American Studies Description: The toils and troubles of African Americans from slavery to 2500, when the…
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict, a searing clash that has ripped the Middle East apart, cost countless lives and commanded the attention of the entire world… has been all sorted out. Six months ago, a poorly educated but eternally wise shepherd named…