It’s the month of December, which means millions of high school seniors across the United States are working on their last-minute college essays. We at The Princeton Tiger are here to help with a convenient and personalized fill-in-the-blank template that’…
-MF ’19, Illustrated by KG ’19
Something magical happens when you sashay through Fitz-Randolph gate and enter the suburban paradise that is Princeton’s campus. Eisgruber sits in his office waving and fanning all the money from the university’s endowment to generate the perfect breeze. The squirrels…
Zach McCarthy, a recently admitted member of the Class of 2020, revealed his decision Wednesday to abstain from sexual intercourse until the fall when he can fully take advantage of the university’s hookup scene. “Call me old-fashioned, but I think…
Fellow Countrymen, As General Washington’s troops press on towards Yorktown, King George’s tyranny grows less certain every day. Yet, it behooves us to remember that the driving forces behind any revolution are the stable family units that feed and clothe…