WASHINGTON D.C . — At the historic hearing concerning the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Judge Brett Kavanaugh, the potential Justice offered a heartfelt and persuasive explanation for his actions: he was raised a man in the social climate of America.
“In American culture,” the Judge told the Senate Judiciary Committee, “young men were not traditionally held responsible for their actions against women. ”
“You have to understand,” he added, “nothing in my background prepared me for the idea of facing consequences as a result of harm that I caused a woman — or, in fact, multiple women. ”
Judge Kavanaugh went on to explain how his upbringing in American culture also did not introduce him to the taboos against using your admission to Yale as a defense at a hearing where you are being accused of sexual assault, or implying that the accusations are the work of a leftist conspiracy.
“I mean, maybe in other cultures you’re taught that treating women like sexual trophies and bragging about it to your friends is somehow bad, but not in America.” he added. He went on to note that it would be unfair to deny him the seat based on his high school conduct, since “I’m pretty sure the words ‘treat women with respect‘ don’t even make grammatical sense in the dialect we speak back home.”
“At the end of the day,” concluded Kavanaugh, “this hearing is about tolerating other people’s customs and coexistence. I respect your culture, where women are treated like humans, so please respect mine, where it’s totally okay for me to throw a tantrum on the floor of the Senate because you might not make me a Supreme Court Justice.”
The hearing ended with the Senators agreeing that it would greatly add to the cultural diversity of the Supreme Court if they confirmed Kavanaugh, as nobody of his background had been appointed since Justice Clarence Thomas was confirmed in 1991.
— BG ’22