Songs for Seduction

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Ladies, are you tired of being alone? Men, are you tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a sissy boy when you know you could be a manly man who spends his afternoons lip deep in woman face? Well worry no more, cause we’ve come up with a surefire list of sexy songs guaranteed to seduce the guy or girl of your dreams! Check it out!!!

» “Touch Dat Butt”

» “Intercourse Offerings From The Office Of The Registrar”

» “I Am Bruno Mars (ft. Bruno Mars)”

» “Dearest Spouse, I Humbly Request That You Join Me In The Marital Bed On This Fine Evening (At 7:30, After Supper)”

» “Make Love To The Sensual Sounds Of Wolf Blitzer”

» “In The Back Of My 1996 Ford Bronco”

» “Kiss Me (Before Thanos Returns And Enslaves Us)”

» “Tom Hanks Tells Us How To Successfully Apply A Condom”

» “I Won’t Let You Out Of This Corn Maze Til You Give Me A Kiss!”

» “Can You Hear The Love Merchant, He’s Sellin’ His Wares Today”

» “Cheek To Cheek To Debra”

» “Nobody Like You (Life-Sized Marble Bust Of Charles de Gaulle)”

» “5:37pm (It’s Valentime!)”

» “A Screaming Comes Across The Sky (It’s Me Bangin’ Yo Girl)”

» “Kiss Me Like You Did When We Got Osama”

» “Feel Dat Butt”

» “Staring Contest (Or If Butts Were Eyes)”

» “Game Of Thrones Isn’t Real; Please Come Back To Bed, Harold”

» “Bette Midler Breathes Heavily Into A Microphone For Three Minutes”

» “Love Dat Butt”

» “Boobs Are Like Pillows But Pillows Don’t Fill Me With Rage”

» “Helen Mirren Still Got Dat Butt (She Should Give It Back)”

» “It Ain’t Missionary Unless You In Africa”

» “If You Believe In Having Sex Say ‘Ph’nglui Mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh Wgah’nagl Fhtagn’”

» “Girl, You Are More Beautiful Than Even The Glorious Flag Of Turkmenistan”

» “Everyone Has Sex (Except for Kyle)”

» “Seriously, Fuck Kyle (Just Not Literally)”

 

– Staff. Illustrated by MGM ’17.