Roommate Contract (Additions in Green)
Names: Donald Marad, Neil Stewart
By signing this roommate contract, we hereby agree to:
Sleep by 2 AM on weeknights. Sitting in bed and cackling to Dane Cook does not count as sleep.
Maintain a safe environment in the room. A 160 sq ft. room does not count as a safe environment for racquetball. Even if you are using “half power.”
Shower once a day. This cannot be substituted by a “long shower” taken every two months.
Keep the room silent during study hours. Feigning deafness is no excuse for looping “The Final Countdown” for 16 hours on Dean’s Date.
Inform the other about guests (inflatable companions, exotic animals) ahead of time. You are automatically in violation of this rule if you are nursing a baby llama.
Clean the room at least twice a month, alternating turns. Spit-shining your laptop screen does not count as “cleaning the room.”
Respect each other’s belongings and personal space. Setting things on fire does not count as “the ultimate form of Viking respect, man.”
Consult the other before hosting parties. Asking about taxes and then holding a rager does not count.
Adhere to a basic dress code of wearing at least “beach” attire. Non-nudist.
Signed,
Donald Marad
Neil Stewart