HEY GIRL
YOU REMIND ME OF MY GRANDPA
I MEAN YOU’RE NICE YOU’RE NOT OLD
ALSO I HOPE YOU DON’T HAVE A PENIS
FUCK CAN WE START OVER?
HEY GIRL
GOING TO THE FRESHMAN FORMAL?
I HEAR IT’S PRETTY FANCY
COLONIAL HAS SOME NICE, WHITE COLUMNS
LIKE ME
I ONLY HAVE ONE COLUMN THOUGH
AND MINE IS MORE BLACK THAN WHITE
FUCK THAT WASN’T GOOD EITHER
HEY GIRL
I HEAR THE FRESHMAN FORMAL IS PRETTY EXCLUSIVE
ONLY 1/4 OF THE SCHOOL CAN GET IN
THAT’S SEVEN TIMES MORE LESS EXCLUSIVE THAN IVY TOWER
OR INFINITY TIMES MORE EXCLUSIVE THAN MY EX
INFINITY
KINDA LIKE WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES
WHICH LOOK LIKE THEY’RE JUDGING ME
I’M COOLER WHEN I’M NOT SWEATING
LITERALLY
ONE MORE TIME WITH FEELING
HEY GIRL
SO I’M NOT GOOD FUCKING HORRIBLE AT INTRODUCTIONS
AND I FORGOT THE FLOWERS I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU
I PICKED THEM MYSELF
OFF A TREE BY THE JUNIOR SLUMS
BUT I WAS WONDERING
ONLY CASUALLY
IF-
oh, so you’re not going that’s cool
yeah, i wasn’t really going either
well, i might be going a little
HA HA HA HA
no, i didn’t piss myself
i was just masturbating leaving
FOR MY STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM IN NORTH KOREA
FUCK YOU AMY IT’S HARDER TO GET INTO THAN YOU’LL EVER BE
– AJS ’15