PRINCETON, NJ – The unicyclist spotted riding around campus has reported the theft of the front of his bicycle to Public Safety, senior officials at Public Safety reported. “People think I’m just being cool riding around on one wheel, but really, I want my other wheel back,” the unicyclist confided to Tiger Magazine shortly before breaking down like a little girl and crying.
Public Safety encouraged Princeton students to be on the lookout for the thief. So far, they have only been able to identify the culprit as “somebody else riding a unicycle.”
– MF